25.1.03
From a friend's blog...i love it so much..it's so true...
The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.
To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.
To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.
When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.
To have people think
that you don't care.
The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.
To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.
To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".
When you show someone your innermost thoughts
and they laugh in your face.
For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.
When it seems like the only person who cares about you, is you.
Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?
Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?
Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.
Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.
If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.
You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.
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had almost twelve hours of sleep...but still feeling so tired..wadehell...having runny nose also. i think my immune system's going weak. will try to do some work today...haven't been doing much for the past few weeks, hehe. nx week tests starting already...and will probably have to study thru cny summore...sucky system the schs have always. fancy studying during the festive season..but i won't anyway...cny's more important than anything else...afterall it's onli once a year. my mum says that we'll be banned from the comp today...cos she's doing her office work...so...i think this is my onli chance of going online today, so sad. haix. nothing to say liao, ciao~
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had guides today. was dead beat. mentally and physically la. last night couldn't realli sleep...woke up at 5+ ...cos i dreamt...of someone...[lately this same person is always featured in my dreams] then was so hard to get back to sleep, but still managed. today's guides quite okay la..but very unused to toking to the sec 1s...haha...pearleen is still so cute. can't stand her. dunno y i like her so much also la...but she's nothing like my sister that's why. aniwaez, nothing much happened la. good and bad. sometimes i feel that too many things happen to me that's why i tend to feel traumatised more than happy la. haix. it's so late in the afternoon and i hafn't studied yet...going to die at this rate. chinese test!! piles to study....better get down to it soon mann. it's such a boring saturday afternoon...haix~
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24.1.03
STATUS: devoid of any emotions, just sick and tired of everything ard.
i'm so lazy to check the codes for the font colours nowadays...i'm getting lazier. haix. cried last night...everything's all gone and done with now. was kinda praying la..then the more i thought of it the more the tears couldn't be contained...so just trashed it out la...aniwae it feels much better now...esp after a fantastic mass run which i needed so much. my eyes were slightly swollen and puffy this morning...and the triple eyelid kept coming out la....very idiotic...and dorothy and yash, u all needn't feel bad la..after all, it's due to my own inability to express it...so i guess you all were so-called misled by the front i put up. however, i don't regret what i do...or rather, i don't like to regret what i do...so, in other words, since all this mess has started, i have to accept it. there's no turning back now anyway, it's way too late. tml there's guides...k, i think it's going to be quite exciting...and me and cali supposed to give some opening speech? haha. think it's so lame. hope tml will be fun..and cali, our times of relaxation have come to an end. *sobz*
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23.1.03
yanjing, juz read ur blog. thks a lot...cos onli ur blog managed to make me laugh despite my depression.
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i'm in a terrible horrible pissed mood. this blog entry is specially dedicated to the 3 girls i hold dear most in c1...haix. outside raining cats and dogs...and my heart's kinda like crying and bleeding juz like the sky...haix...i'm not a person who can say all these str8 into ur faces la, girls, so i tend to deceive you all and myself...i dun say things i truly feel deep inside la...tend to put up a brave front...so you all should know when it's the truth and when it's not sometimes...well, today's is definitely a total lie....i've tried to express my true feelings before...but it's so difficult...almost teared in the bus...i mean, the tears just keep welling up in my eyes lor...when it comes to such stuff....it's so hard to practise what you preach...as in, now i seriously don't blame romeo for wallowing in self pity...after all, it's damn pain lor. it seriously hurts a damn lot! y should a person give someone else some hope and then let her come crashing down like that? it's so pain lor...i feel like crying it all out so much..but there isn't even room for that....cos i dun want my family to know...dun want them to worry...they'll start asking questions...in sch also have to tahan....just hope everything's for the better tml. meanwhile, thks for ur concern girls...appreciated.
had a fantastic chem lab period today...though it was such a terrible mess and the mood was totally frantic and panicky, i still managed to have fun cos i did it with wila...and both of us, being so dumb and clumsy, made many stupid mistakes that only served to amuse ourselves. take for example the time when i wanted to test this solution with the litmus paper, the whole piece dropped into the solution and it started bubbling....so stupid. then the next thing is when we were so freaked out with the bunsen flame, wila turned off the wrong gas tap...she turned the one which wasnot lighted...so silly lor...so we had a fun time la....but everything's so easily lost. freakz.
my sis bought mars bar for me....thankful but can't appreciate it now with my current mood. sian...
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22.1.03
hmmz..i'm so tired and sian. i juz dun feel like talking. ever since i got home, i've hardly spoken more than 5 sentences i think...and the majority of the replies to my maid's questions were monosyllabic...quite gd that my sis not at home today also la...i need some peace and i need to shut up. you know...just as i was abt to press ctrl-c to copy the post i typed, i accidentally pressed some other button on the keyboard and the entire window closed...so instead of so-called saving my work from being deleted by blogger, it got erased due to my dumbness and clumsiness. haix. so sad. but i'm in quite a patient mood so i dun mind re-typing wad i wrote juz now. having cramps now. thank god and no thank god [yash, daph, jiayi and dorothy should know why i'm saying this]....
aniwaez, i had a traumatising trip home...as i was in the 61 bus, i took the window seat la....then you know, along the entire column of window seats, there're gaps la, that means the person behind me can see my elbow thru this gap. haix, qutie hard to explain la. aniwaez, here's wad happened. this person behind me was actually poking my elbow with sth la...then i thought it was probably the person's file or sth that accidentally did that la...so i thought, nvm lor..then i ignored it. but it continued for qutie a while, so i shifted my elbow away. k...then after that, the person put his hand at the handle of the seat such that when i leaned back, the hand's there la, so there's some kind of obstruction...ok lor, that kinda irritated me liaoz. but i didn't turn behind to look la...just in case i'd be freaked out by some old idiot. SO...i ignored that too~ [some kind of weird tolerance i have for idiots] then after that, the person behind me tapped my back and asked me whether the nx stop was dunno wad bus-stop to clementi...i didnt exactly know what the hell he was saying cos i was quite freaked out...so i just said i dunno. he sounded quite nervous when he asked la...such that i think he didn't even noe wad he was asking...so of cos i dunno wad to answer la. so anyway, thankfully, he got down the bus. thank god~~~ dunno wadehell that freak wanted lor...he's abt 20+ la...then he looks kinda eccentric to me..haha...i dunno. but aniwaez, ya lor...i juz wonder whad he wanted la...SO SCARY KIEZ? particularly cos nobody took the bus with me...haix, jiayi, that's your fault too. haha. have to make you feel guilty, haha, just kidding la. moral of the story = this world is full of idiotic freaks and i'm so prone to encounters with them...........why me?!!?
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20.1.03
Jiayi and I in nursery class...eh...the girl closest to the camera is jiayi...and as for which one is me, you can keep guessing...haha..no la...i'm at abt jiayi's 11 o'clock [the one in front of the parent in a dazed look...hahah]
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My cousins again! but some of the younger ones are included here too~
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My Cousins!! at my grandparents' birthday dinner...hmmz..i juz realised sth..i think i look a bit too boy in this photo. [cos my hair was wet]
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just came back from sch...[i just realised that for the past three blog entries, i've started with the same four words "just came back from", haha] nothing special happened today la...juz quite glad that we didn't have PE...even though that'd mean missing out on ms tay...haix..but i'd rather not run...hehe..today's lit lesson...realli drama...i realli disagree with what ms azlin has to say about romeo...i dunno y la...i just cannot accept her viewpoint...even though it does have some logic in it...BUT...haix, [the next few sentences will be for those who read R&J] i just feel that Romeo realli became mature and all that lor...can't simply put him down by saying that he's feeling totally hopeless and so he gives up on the relationship and all that crap la...i think that even though Romeo was a petriarchan lover before, he has changed due to his banishment to Mantua...and of cos, after the separation with Juliet...he probably feels more for her..and treasures her lor...instead of saying that he's uncaring, why not say that he's in control of his emotions and is really firm in the steps he wishes to take....to go back to Verona to look for the "dead" Juliet? okay la...enough liao....i've been disagreeing with ms azlin's point for the whole dae now...every time we have lit lesson....i have the great tendency to link the story to some other real thoughts in life...and i end up digressing and not concentrating during lessons....haix....ya..yash, you should know what i mean....my thoughts just simply float away...
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